“Israel cries out to me, ‘Our God, we acknowledge you!’ But Israel has rejected what is good; an enemy will pursue him.”
- Hosea 8:2-3, NIV
It’s not very common for me to publish the first thing I write. There is almost always a process of thinking about something, testing it in my mind and before God, and then laying out the words that hopefully He and I agree on together.
It’s almost like the subtractive method in drawing where you cover a sheet of paper with a medium like graphite then gradually erase parts until you have a well-defined image.
This particular reflective writing—the one I’m writing right now—is no different. I’m sitting down to re-write it just an hour before it’s supposed to be published, and I’m re-writing almost all of it.
Lord, what can I say?
This is a little bit about how life has been for me lately. I think it’s going to go one way, I plan things to go one way, but then whenever I think of it I invite God in to leave His mark, to direct me into what to say and do. It tends to go a lot better when I let Him step in and do His thing.
Now, it’s important to remind myself why I’m writing in the first place. In these writings I want to show what it looks like to grow in deeper faith and live a life that is continually transformed by the love of God. Part of that is admitting that even now there are aspects of God that I don’t know.
To give some examples of what I have not been doing the best at, I don’t pray continually, I’m not always keenly aware of God’s presence, and even this last week my normal rhythm of repentance and receiving forgiveness from God has gone undone.
Lord, help me to know you. I’m sorry for the ways in which I’ve strayed from spending time knowing you and telling you that I’m sorry for what I’ve done to hurt my relationship with you.
Thank you for the rich blessings that you’ve poured out on me despite my shortcomings. Renew in me a spirit that urgently seeks your face.
Amen.
Reflection questions
Have you ever written anything (even journaling) that helped you understand your relationship with God better?
Have you ever made any big realizations about yourself while revising something you wrote?
Do you know God, and have you earnestly told Him that you’re sorry for anything you’ve done to hurt your relationship with Him?
ST